Chapter thirty-one: One True Thing

Katherine (Kate) Gulden (Meryl) is a mother. Her daughter Ellen (Renee Zellweger) has come home from New York for a surprise costumed-theme birthday party for her father in the middle of October, and is not surprised to see her mother avidly and enthusiastically participating in the festivities more than anyone else there. Her father George (William Hurt) is a rather uptight college professor of American literature whom Ellen looks up to very much on account that she herself works in the literary field as a journalist. For this reason, she values her father's word more than her mother's and always has. The party is a happy event, which is nice because at a doctor's appointment the very next morning, Kate is diagnosed with cancer. The diagnosis throws Ellen for a loop, particularly when her father asks her to stay and care for her mother. Brian, the family's youngest, is too busy with school, and he has midterm papers to grade and cannot commit himself to being his wife's caretaker, so ultimately the job falls on Ellen because the career she has is only freelance work in the eyes of her father. She's not thrilled with the task.

By Thanksgiving, Ellen is a prominent face in the household, taking over her mother's domestic duties, becoming a member at her luncheons, etc. For awhile, it seems like this new lifestyle will be okay. Ellen has become used to her responsibilities as caretaker, and she has adjusted her work schedule, allowing time to get closer with her mother. Then, by Christmas, Kate is wheelchair bound and the disease visibly begins to pain her optimistic, independent spirit as the matriarch of the family. At one point, the frustration of it all becomes too much for her and she shouts at Ellen,

"I am not handicapped! I am not an invalid! I am not! I am not! I'm still a mother! I'm still the mother here!"

It's truly, mortifyingly upsetting because it's so genuine and you can tell even through the screen that Kate disapproves of the shifting family dynamics.

Kate survives through Christmas and New Years, but despite the progression of her disease, Ellen's father is more distant from the family than he has been all season. Although Ellen remembers from her childhood that her father has a history of working long hours, this isn't necessarily the behavior that one would expect when a family member is dying. So, Ellen does some investigating to figure out the reason behind her father's continuous absence from home. When Kate realizes this she confronts Ellen, saying,

"There is nothing that you know about your father that I don't already know."

Thus, showing that Kate stayed in an unfaithful marriage to protect her children, even if Ellen's affection was more directed toward her father.

Ultimately in Kate's last days, her hair is nearly nonexistent, and she doesn't have the strength to pull herself out of the bathtub. It's all awful, beyond vocabulary.

Kate succumbs to the pain of her bedridden state in January. At her grave, the ailing family declares,

"She was our one true thing."

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I myself have the great, lucky fortune to live in a family that is extremely healthy. (Knock on wood.) So, I during my lifetime, have not yet had to experience the extensive grief that comes with losing a family member, aside from house pets. However, when I think about it, I have a guilty conscience because I feel like my immediate responding behavior would be similar to Ellen's. I wouldn't understand it completely, so I would try and block it out with schoolwork, or a project that I might have, or something of that sort, because you just never know. Nevertheless, this movie has taught me that while death is something you can prepare for, it is not something that can be predicted. That statement rings even truer now with the passing of Supreme Court Justice Ruth Bader Ginsburg only yesterday evening, may she rest in peace. So, you have to take the days as they come, and you have to hold on to and appreciate what you have with those in your life for as long as you can.

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Funny coincidence, this movie was released on yesterday's date in 1998.

As always, thank you for the entertainment, Meryl.